This week has turned into one of the most bizarre ones in modern Ukrainian history.
Mikhail Saakashvili, a Georgian immigrant, an international adventurer without citizenship, the ex-governor of Odessa Oblast, and the former President of Georgia, who would torture his opponents in prisons, and who started a Georgian-Russian war, decided to take Ukraine under his control – a country that has recently suffered from riots and coups.
Saakashvili and Poroshenko make a perfect match, and many people in Ukraine realize that. Both of them are fake leaders, and the protests, tent camps and barricades in the center of Kiev haven't been caused by the wish to support the charismatic Georgian, as much as the feeling of despair which overwhelmed the country where everything looks ugly today.
Everything has mutated towards a blind branch of evolution. The forms of the protest are ugly themselves.
For example, here is a stick fight that looks like it happened in Middle Ages.
And this is a woman who is dancing naked between the tents and barricades, with a paddle, in green snickers and a rubber swimming cap. She's blowing a whistle in her teeth. The slogan written on her body says: "Petya, Mikho, take the paddle and sail the hell out of here!"
The woman: "Paddle the [censored] away, leave us alone! Hands off! I told you to get away from me! Go!"
Later, it turned out that the activist was a philologist. She just got sick and tired of that two-clown circus.
I don't think many people are ready to undress in Kiev in December, but I'm sure that many Ukrainians support the message of this extravagant action.
Anyway, the main scene of the week in Ukraine took place on Tuesday.
At 9:00 a.m., a swat team came to search Saakashvili's apartment in Kiev. At the very last moment, he slipped away from the police and got to the roof of the 8-story building. He came out walking like a cat and calling for help. "Don't let them take me!" "Poroshenko is a thief!" he shouted. He called for a revolution and even threatened to jump from the roof.
9:19 a.m. With a bottle of water in his hand, he, probably, thought that the chase could last long. "Poroshenko is a thief! Poroshenko is a traitor to Ukrainian people!"
Web users compare Saakashvili with Father Fyodor, the character of The Twelve Chairs, a satirical novel by Ilf and Petrov, the one who got to the top of a rock with a stolen sausage and was attacked by eagles. Unlike Fyodor, Saakashvili didn't hallucinate about Tamar the Great.
The only thing he saw, at last, was the troopers of SSU Special Group whose steps were amplified by steel roof sheets. They captured him like a wounded animal. It looked like the mixture of a woolly mammoth hunt and a rugby game. Anyway, Saakashvili was pulled down.
At 9:49 a.m., he was finally detained. The police had to spend ten minutes more for pushing him into a paddy wagon. Saakashvili acted artistically monumental. The wagon was surrounded by a mix of activists and attackers. In spite of truncheons and tear gas, the crowd blocked the street. "ACAB!" The wagon was going right through the crowd, until someone pierced the wheels.
The Khreshchatyk Street was blocked off. Fences and cobblestones were taken to make barricades. The battle at the blue wagon continued for almost 4 hours. Saakashvili was inside all that time, handcuffed.
At last, by 2:00 p.m., the windows of the wagon were broken. Its rear door was torn out. The crowd was cheering. Saakashvili started a meeting: "I've just had a talk with SSU troopers. They don't like the government either! The police don't like it either! The Army is on our side!" "Hooray!"
After that, the crowd marched to the Verkhovnaya Rada, where it happened again.
Mikhail Saakashvili: "I swear, I will keep these cuffs for Poroshenko, for Lutsenko!"
4:00 p.m., the US Embassy, the political center of Kiev, issued a statement: "We are aware that Mr. Saakashvili was detained and that protests are ongoing. We call for all sides to de-escalate tensions and avoid violence. We are monitoring the situation closely and expect any investigation will be conducted expeditiously and in accordance with Ukrainian law."
It's quite a slippery slope for all sides.
5:11 p.m., the Prosecutor General, Lutsenko, issued an ultimatum: Saakashvili must turn himself in. Right after that, he was declared wanted.
In response, Saakashvili mentioned that Lutsenko didn't have a degree in law. He called the Prosecutor General a straight F student and a fake and took cover in a tent camp.
Heather Nauert, US State Department spokesperson, makes a statement.
Heather Nauert, US State Department spokesperson: “As you know we have a good relationship with the government of Ukraine, but it doesn’t mean that we agree with them on absolutely everything. We would urge the authorities in Ukraine to de-escalate that situation."
On Wednesday, early in the morning, the tent camp was stormed by the police. Sleepy people engaged in a battle. Saakashvili had been already charged with three criminal offenses, when he decided to declare a "sich" in Kiev, meaning "a rebel state," disobeying command by the authorities.
Nevertheless, the thing he wanted the most was just to have a shower, otherwise he could get lice. No Maidan can get away without stench, lack of hygiene, and infection. The crowd stormed a nearby hotel seeking a shower. Saakashvili was kicked out of there twice.
On the night between Friday and Saturday, he was finally captured by the police at his friend's apartment. He was quietly taken to jail.
After that, Saakashvili went on a hunger strike, as he said.
